Friday, September 9, 2016

An Exclusive Interview With Jesus Christ

We all know what Jesus thought about major social issues of his own days on Earth, matters such as the stoning of adulteresses, the payment of taxes to Rome, how to respond when smitten on the cheek, and so forth. But there are many moral questions that we have to decide today on which Jesus's position is not immediately obvious.

Fortunately, Jesus, as everyone who has read the gospel accounts of his life knows, taught his followers to regard God as a personal god to whom they could speak as they would speak to a loving father. It was in this spirit, therefore, that we invited Jesus to join us on this blog for an exclusive interview via Skype*, a request that Jesus, now a member of the Holy Trinity, and thus the voice of God, very graciously agreed to.

Without further ado, then, here is our conversation.

CanSpeccy: Dear Lord Jesus, as you know, the evolution of technology and the growing complexity of the economy raises many moral questions of which the people of ancient Palestine were blissfully unaware. Thus, now seems a good time to update the gospel record with your views on the many difficult moral decisions that face today's God-fearing Christian.

But in addition to novel questions, among the most contentious of today's moral issues are questions about which, according to the record, you never spoke although they must have been of concern even in your own days on Earth. I should like, therefore, to begin our conversation with one of the knottiest of those issues, the question of the treatment of homosexuals and, in particular, your view of gay marriage. On these questions, where do you stand?

Jesus: First, I hope that we can drop the formalities, so please feel free to call me simply Jesus, without title or adulation.

My view on the question of gay marriage, although not something I am recorded as having addressed during my life on Earth, follows directly from my Palestinian ministry. Specifically, I taught that men, and by that term I of course included women, were to love one another. Thus if two men or two women or some other combination of people enter into a legal contract to love and to care for one another for life, how could I possibly be opposed to it?

CanSpeccy: Jesus, your answer provides us all with wonderfully clear and cogent direction on this, heretofor, thorny issue. There does remain, however, the question of terminology, and a term other than marriage for such unconventional unions would seem preferable, do you not think, since traditionally, the term marriage concerns the raising of children.

Jesus: Perhaps so, Speccy, but I am sure that today's earthly pundits are competent to resolve that question for themselves without divine intervention.

CanSpeccy: Yes, well, fair enough.

During your time on Earth, men were equipped to carry out fairly large scale wars and massacres, even going so far as to wipe out whole communities or nations, as your own Jewish people were wont to do. Today, however, the rulers of the Earth have the unquestioned power to wipe out all humanity and most other life on Earth in a nuclear holocaust. How do you view this reality, and how should humanity respond to it?

Jesus: Well it takes no great stretch of the imagination to see that just as in my day, those who lived by the sword would, as I said then, perish by the sword, so those who today live by nuclear weapons will someday surely die by nuclear weapons. In short, nuclear weapons mean human extinction, something that I would certainly regret, despite the almost endless arrogance, cruelty and stupidity of mankind, a creation of which I am often more or less embarrassed.

CanSpeccy: O.K. That's clear enough. We'd better get busy on nuclear disarmament right away.

Jesus: Yes. And get rid of all the other WMD's at the same time.

CanSpeccy: Your answer to my last question raises the fascinating subject of what other intelligent life forms you have created out there in this stupendously large (to human comprehension) universe that you made, by our calculation, about fourteen billion years ago. Are there other intelligent creatures out there struggling with the same moral issues that we face, and if so, how have things turned out for them?

Jesus: Yes, fourteen billion years is about the time it took to evolve the universe to the point that humanity emerged: a rather feeble result really, considering the build up. But we, that is to say I and my fellow Trinitarians, are loving gods, fortunately for you, so we just plod on hoping to make something respectable of a man in due course.

As for other intelligent life forms, yes, we have millions of them out there. Some are quite cute. You know, furry and friendly. Others, countless millions of them, actually, evolved just about as mankind has done and then blew themselves up with nukes or some other device.

Whether all intelligence is self-limiting in this way is an interesting question that the Holy Ghost has been working on for some time, but about which she has  yet to reach a definite conclusion.

CanSpeccy: Oh dear, that's not encouraging news. But I'm so glad you are here to warn us in person. Obviously, we must try harder, turn the other cheek, and all that.

Jesus: [making a deep rumbling sound and, we suspect, becoming clouded in smoke] Yes, try harder, for sure.

CanSpeccy: Phew! Well, after that exchange anything else is bound to seem anticlimactic, but can you tell us, Jesus, how we should be thinking about today's  other great questions, the questions about energy, the environment, climate change, extremist Islamic terrorism, diversity, and globalization. Would you end this absolutely fascinating and vitally important conversation by offering a short sermon that leads us in the right direction on these difficult matters.

 Jesus: Well it's probably best, if we are to remain accessible to the modern mind, to avoid the preaching and keep things conversational.

CanSpeccy, interjecting: None of the verily verily, and such.

Jesus: Right. That used to be the way to gain a man's attention, but techniques of persuasion have advanced a bit since then.

On energy, I would say that it's not an insuperable challenge. I have provided you with a nuclear reactor, the Sun, that will meet your legitimate energy needs for at least a billion years. Furthermore, it is only a minor technical challenge to harness that "renewable" energy to supply human needs in perpetuity. What you have to build is a global, superconducting, power grid, then you'll have a virtually limitless energy source 24/7. In the meantime, use natural gas, improve energy-use efficiency and stop fretting.

In anticipating climate change, your computer models are simply inadequate to predict how rising atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration and the other atmospheric pollutants you produce affect the climate. Just get on with the transition to solar, and you'll face no insuperable climate disaster.

As for the environment, man is the master of it and at liberty to do with it as he will, but that does not mean that he is free to destroy it with impunity. Man is a creature of his environment. He must preserve the environment to preserve his own life and his own sanity.

Islamist extremism, terrorism, or imperialism, are certainly challenges that my followers must attend to. Islam is a medieval project for global empire, having religious, legal, political, and military components. Islam is, and will always be, a threat to the existence of Christendom and the challenge must be faced if Christianity, the true religion, is to survive.

CanSpeccy, interjecting: But Jesus, how is a Christian, brought up in the belief that we should do good to our enemies, to respond to violence. Are we always to turn the other cheek?

Jesus: Speccy, I'm glad you raised that question. The fact is, my so-called Sermon on the Mount, was misreported and incorrectly interpreted. Moreover, this false understanding of my message has been unscrupulously deployed by globalist shills to undermine and destroy the Christian nation states that stand in the way of their drive for global governance under the direction of the Money Power.

What I was preaching that day was on how my compatriots and fellow Jews should treat one another. It is within the context of family, tribe and national community that forbearance in the face of ill usage leads ultimately to reconciliation and reciprocation. But obviously, if someone breaks into your home intent on killing you and raping your daughter, then, only if you are a coward will you fail to use whatever means are at your disposal to repel, and if necessary kill, the aggressor. The same is true in the relations among nations.

It was that little brown chap, what's his name, Ghandi, who got this straight. What was it he said?
where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence...
Canspeccy: Oh, that's tremendously interesting and important to have that point cleared up. Also, it is astonishing to hear God, quote the wisdom of man!

Jesus: The truth is indivisible. If a man speaks the truth, he speaks with the voice of God.

And turning to your last point, diversity and globalization. Why would I have created the fascinating diversity of the human species just to see it homogenized to fill the pockets of a few hundred globalist billionaires intent on maximizing corporate profits? People need to think for themselves and reject the corporate propaganda that inundates their mental space as it spews from the media, the entertainment industry, the publishing industry, and most deadly of all, the state controlled educational institutions.

CanSpeccy: Dear Lord Jesus, and I say that will fervent love, admiration and respect, thank you. Thank you so much for bringing us up to date, and providing our poor pathetic species — that bare forked creature — as one of our poets described us, directions for salvation from our ignorance, pride and stupidity.

Jesus: You're welcome, Speccy. Feel free to speak with me at any time. Particularly in moments of fear or perplexity, you will find it helps. It will help a lot.

* During our conversation with Jesus, we covered out i-Pad screen to keep hidden the face of God in accordance with standard protocol relating to direct communication between man and God. Hence no accompanying video.

Canspeccy: An Exclusive Interview With the Devil


  1. Replies
    1. I'll have to ask about that next time I have the opportunity.

  2. Replies
    1. Works of the first Century Jewish historian Josephus, made reference to Jesus, the Crucifixion, and James the Brother of Jesus who led the Jesus movement after the death of Jesus. The authenticity of this source is discussed here.

      That seems to be about it: no birth certificate, parking ticket, or any other contemporary record is known. But Christianity was certainly a historical feature of First century Palestine, and it makes sense to assume that the Jesus movement was started by some guy named Jesus, or rather the Hewbrew equivalent, Yeshua.

      Perhaps a topic for discussion in a future interview.